mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
me:
mom:
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
mom:
me:
mom: this isn't normal
Me at school
me: i hate all of you
me: stop screaming you saw your friend yesterday
me: holy fuck walk faster
me: get smarter idiot
me: maybe if i hit my head on my desk enough times ill die
Sex must be so uncomfortable I feel bad for anyone who has ever done it. Just imagine all the germs being spread and like sticking your private parts in areas where other people pee and poop it just is not right and god bless anyone who has ever had sex. Like sure yeah you get an orgasm for what, like 10 seconds at the most? Is it really worth it? No.
I really want a group of friends that I can just message “Assemble” and then they show up at my house with popcorn and chocolate and we get drunk and watch movies and play The Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit and cry over Loki together.
H O W ?!
Holy shit
I keep trying to think of a good comment for this but I’m speechless, really.
My god.
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